I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
