This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
