I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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