Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.