why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.