my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.