Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
