I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize