Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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