yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
