lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
