just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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