she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
