areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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