So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
