you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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