did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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