If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
