My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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