And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
