oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
