well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drunk is a universal language darling
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
