i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
