I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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