I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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