No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize