I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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