I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
