i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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