So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
zippers are such a cool invention
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
