xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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