dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
