Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
