if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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