I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
