Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
birth control should be required to get into college
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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