It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
