she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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