He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
