i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
