Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
