I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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