who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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