he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When did we convert life to cartoon?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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