I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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