He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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