ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
