That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
