Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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