vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
