Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just gargled with NyQuil
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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