what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
