even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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