oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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