don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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