I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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