got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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