Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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