It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
