I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
