You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
