She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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