I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
