Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
