We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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