Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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