He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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